It's a Niño!
by pexiepie
Summary: After a slip of the tongue Spain finds himself at the end of one of England's spells. Now Spain is a toddler and it is up to Romano to care for the new infant nation.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N** This story was originally just a writing prompt I did for a friend, but being the narcissistic person I am found this story to be to funny not to share. So please enjoy.

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It was another Friday afternoon at the English pub. The place was packed with college students, businessmen and women, and nations from another extended meeting. It was the norm for nations to go to pubs after meetings to relieve stress or catch up with some friends. The ones most infamous for this were France, Prussia, and Spain. The three never failed to get a drink together for the past 23 years and discussing their lives with one another, or tormenting other nations. Like they are doing right now in particular. The three were already making an irate England even more upset by taunting his tacky clothes, bad beer, and how he always had grumpy scowl when they were around.

"Can you three please, leave the bloody hell around!" snapped England seething at the laughing drunk trio.

"Oh you need to relax mon ami." said France taking another drink of his wine.

"Ja," agreed Prussia already on his 10th and still going strong. "You need to live a little."

"Don't be so tough on England mi amigos." slurred Spain. "He's just a child compared to us."

While the other two nodded in agreement, England looked appalled. "I am sorry, but did you just called me a sodding child!"

"Well you are niño." said Spain. "Well compared to us you are."

England scowled deepened not appreciating being called a child. He was certainly not a child and maybe it was the rum talking, but he was going to get his revenge on the Spaniard one way or another for calling him a child. After a couple more hours, encouraged by America, England staggered into his house a drunken mess.

"Stupid France." mumbled England, as he fell over on his couch trying to get his head from swimming. "Stupid Prussia. Stupid Spain."

Speaking the Spanish nations name made the England's alcohol infused blood boil and teach the brute a lesson. He wanted to have a good old fashion fist fight just like in the old days, but it would take a miracle to get him back to pub, and even greater miracle if the said nation was even there.

"What do you think I should do Mint Bunny?' asked England trying to get his unfocused eyes to focus on the flying creature.

Mint Bunny didn't know what to do when it came to that meanie Spain, but Mint Bunny did know how England got when he was drunk and didn't want the man to hurt himself. So Mint Bunny advised the drunk nation in his own language to get revenge on Spain without getting himself physically hurt. England thought on what his friend said came to a wonderful conclusion, well a conclusion good enough when one is intoxicated. The English man ungracefully rolled off the couch and staggered up the stairs to his attic. Upon entering the old dusty room England went to the only that wasn't covered in dust and cobwebs, a small rectangular box embroidered with gems and fancy designs webbed in gold. England opened the box which revealed an old wooden in considerably good condition.

England sheathed the wand and began chanting a spell that was greatly slurred. The only thing on his mind when was to make the stupid Spanish nation feel his wrath for calling him a child, the romance nation was going to regret his words. With the last word of his spell England shot his wand towards the sky and the spell exploded in a harsh green light, shot through the roof, and into the night sky. The force of the blast was so great it pushed the drunken nation against one of the many book cases in the room. England slumped against the floor and fell into a drunken slumber.

In a hotel twenty miles away from the blast, the nation Spain slept soundly in his room. Nothing could wake the nation, except for a blazing green light that was coming right at him! Spain opened his mouth to scream, but was immediately push back by the spell and collided into the wall with a loud crack. Spain slumped to the ground his clothes becoming bigger on him by the second.


	2. Chapter 2

Romano couldn't believe that Spain didn't wake up for breakfast. He also couldn't believe he was the one nominated to wake up him. It wasn't like it was hard or anything, but when he offered that the others try to wake him up they all just went blanched and whispered conquistador. Weirdos.

So, now Romano found himself wasting his precious time having to wake up nation old enough to get himself up. He knocked on the door loudly calling out to the other nation for a couple minutes, before an old geezer who was using too much hair dye for his age told him to shut up. Romano politely flipped the old man the bird who went back to his room looking very miffed. Luckily for the southern nation one of the room maids came by and using his Italian charm he was able to convince the lady to let him in.

Romano stepped into the dark room not noticing the large crack on the wall or few droplets of blood on the ground or Spain's empty disheveled bed. Instead he noticed something far greater than those minute details. The bastard had an whole entire mini fridge filled with tomatoes!

"That bastard!" exclaimed Romano. "He did bring tomatoes!"

Feeling betrayed and mostly angry Romano not only did he decide to take the whole entire mini fridge with him he also decided to take the assholes wallet which was conveniently on the side table. He deserved it after all for coming all this way to just to wake the bastard for him not to even be there.

So, Romano dragged the heavy utensil, until he heard a high pitched giggle. Okay that was creepy. When he heard the giggle turn into a full out laughter, that's when Romano went nope and try to bolt out of the room only to feel something around his legs make him trip. Romano screamed out in terror not wanting to be killed by ghost.

Instead what the Italian nation saw was a little kid, just around three or four years old, holding onto to his leg laughing at his horrified expression. The kid had slightly tanned skin, brilliant green eyes, and slightly curly hair.

The child smiled and held out his hand, as if expecting a handshake from the fallen nation.

"Hola, me llamo España!"

Did this child just call him self Spain! Romano shook his head from the thought, there was no way this child was Spain. Sure he looked somewhat like him, and he also happened to speak Spanish, and he was wearing Spain's tomato pajama top. That did not make him Spain goddammit!

Romano sat and glared at the kid, which didn't make the child good mood falter one bit.

"All right kid where is Spain?" asked Romano

"Soy España!" exclaimed the child happily, jumping up and down giddily, and running off god knows where.

"Hey kid I am not playing any games you will tell me where that stupid tomato ba-" Romano faltered not wanting to swear in front of an innocent kid.

All he got was in response were loud high pitched "I'm Spain", in Spanish, from the hyper child as he ran around the room. Romano had to catch the kid from falling several times from tripping over the over sized night shirt. Romano would have just held the stupid kid if he didn't always found a way to wiggle out of his grip. When the child tried to see how high could he touch the ceiling if he jumped from the bed, Romano was luckily was able to catch him mid-jump.

Geeze this kid never got tired! thought Romano as the kid once again succeeded of getting out his grip. The burnet nation groaned not wanting to chase the hyper active child anymore sat by "his" new mini fridge and took out a tomato to snack. That seemed to catch the attention of the child as stopped jumping around to look at the red fruit. Romano noticed kid watching him and took another tomato from the fridge and offered it to the child.

"Here you want this?" asked Romano, as the child ran up to him and took the vegetable.

The child took an expert bite to see if the new food was good or not. After deeming the new food to be excellent the child decided to use Romano's lap as a seat and looked up at him with big green eyes.

"Gracias!" said the child happily as he munched on his new favorite snack.

At least the kid has good taste. Thought Romano, as he continued to eat his own tomato. Then a thought he didn't want to believe came to him. What if this kid really was Spain. That wouldn't be good at all he knew they all some how find a way to blame him for it! Romano had to find someone stupid enough to push the blame on. Prussia, America, his own fratello?

Though Romano had to make sure that this kid was Spain. The nation took out his iPhone and face timed the contacted the someone who would know what the Spanish nation looked like as a child.

"Bonjour." said France, as he winked at Romano making the younger nation roll his eyes. "Did you get our sleepy head awake yet?"

"Yeah about that," said Romano as positioned the camera on the child.

"Does this kid look familiar to you?"

The child looked curiously at the his own image being mirrored and the gawking man in the strange device. He goes to press his sticky fingers to the strange new item only for Romano to take out of his reach.

"T-that child!" exclaimed France, expression shocked and all playfulness gone from his face. "He looks exactly like Spain when we were kids."

Romano groaned great so the kid was Spain! Just how he wanted to spend Saturday morning, seeing his old caretaker turn into a toddler. Romano was brooding so much he didn't notice when the child took the phone from him.

"Holá!" exclaimed little Spain to the shell shocked love nation. "Who are you?"

That caught Romano's attention. The whole time the kid could speak nation like the rest of them, but decided to be a little shit and speak Spanish. Now Romano wont feel one shred of guilt when he uses Spain's iTunes account. This was all the churror loving freak fault anyway.

"Bonjour," answered France nervously trying to muster a comforting smile for the child. Though it looked more like he was constipated to Romano. "I am France, do you mind giving the phone back to Romano?"

Spain smiled sweetly and handed the phone to Spain, and said in a high pitched voice. "It's for you!"

"Thanks kid." said Romano handing the child another tomato, which the kid giddily took.

"Sacre bleu, what did you do!?" demanded France, looking between angry and fearful.

"Why isn't when something happens to that idiot it's my fault!" groaned Romano. "Just to make it clear this is all Prussia's, America's, or Veneziano's fault!"

"What did those three do?"

"I don't know, but they're such huge screw ups I bet it's their fault."

France mumbled something in French and rubbed the crease between his eyebrows. "At the moment it doesn't matter who fault it is, right now we are dealing with an international disaster!"

"Your telling me Spain's iTunes account only has one dollar on it!" exclaimed Romano in disgust. He can only buy the shitty games the Game Center had to offer with this much money.

"Focus Romano!" snapped France who looked on the verge on a meltdown. "I need you to bring Spain to the meeting, so we can figure out what to do with him."

"Sure, I'll bring the kid... Just one problem."

"What's that?"

"I don't know where he's at."

Jumbled up French swears erupted from his phone, as France put a worried hand through his hair and looked like he needed a drink or empty this morning breakfasts.

"How can you loose, a child especially one that happens to be a nation!" demanded France.

"Easy, I just did." France put his hands to face and sobbed, as Romano got himself another tomato.

"Can you for five seconds stop eating those tomatoes and find Spain?" asked France in exhausted tone.

"Fine," groaned Romano."But I get to have your iTunes account."

"What in the world no!"

"Oh is that Spain playing with sharp objects I see?"

"F-fine." agreed France not liking one bit the smug expression across the Italians face. "Just make sure he gets here in one piece."

"Sure thing." When a loud crash emitted in the room it made both of the older nations cringe. "Well it looks like I better get Spain, bye France!"

Before France could even respond the Southern nation ended the call. France sat at his seat flabbergasted and prayed that no bodily harm would come to any of them.


	3. Chapter 3

France paced out the conference room with a clear line of sweat across his head. The French nation was worried sick as to where the Italian could be with Spain. The meeting was already an hour in deep and this issued had to be addressed immediately. When loud laughter filled the room France turned to see the Romano holding the Spain as the two covered in face paint and eating cotton candy.

"Where have you been!?" questioned France. "The meeting has already started!"

"Relax, me and the kid saw a carnival and we decided to go." said Romano nonchalantly. "Good thing too, they sold these little clown outfit for kids and you know with Spain's nature the outfit suits him well."

France looked at the child in Romano's arm and the brightly colored polka dot outfit the child adorned. It was the most hideous thing France has seen the Spanish nation in, and he seen Spain wear some ridiculous clothing.

"Ugh you couldn't find something more fashionable than that?"

"I could have, but the opportunity to put Spain in a clown outfit was too good to pass up!"

France rolled his eyes, as the younger nation tried to get the willing infant from leaving his grip.

"Romano why don't you just give me Spain." France goes to take the child on for him only for Spain to clutch closer to Romano's chest.

"No!" exclaimed Romano refusing to look at the aghast blonde nation.

"Are you sure this is Spain, cause this kid is way smarter." laughed Romano.

"I am sure," huffed France turning away from the two. "It's best that we approach this slowly with the others nations, alright?"

"Sí." responded Romano.

"Sí!" mimicked Spain giggling as he tried to wiggle out of the Italians hold.

The three entered the room, just when Finland just finished his speech. All eyes were on them for three reasons. One, France face held a seriousness that many nations haven't seen in a long time. Two, Romano of all nations was somehow holding a child. Three, why in the world was a child here at a meeting. Whispers broke out within the room trying to decipher what is going on.

"I know you all are wondering what is going on." said France

"Oh, I think we all know what is going!" exclaimed Italy

"You do?" asked Romano

"Yes, you and big brother Spain had a baby!"

When Italy uttered those words all hell broke loose within the room. Nations sat appalled that the two nations even had relations. Others shook their heads knew that one way or another that France would knock somebody up.

"When did you two start dating?" asked Monaco shocked.

"Why did you decide to date him?" asked Belarus in disgust, no one knew exactly to whom she was referring to, but both of the men felt offended.

"'Ait nations can 'et pregnant?" questioned Sweden. He looked to Finland who looked at him with wide eyes and the two immediately ran out of the conference room.

A loud crash brought the attention of many nations, as America was held back by a struggling Canada and Australia, while Russia laid somewhat daze on the floor.

"You bastard!" yelled America trying to get out of the grip of the two nations. "If I'm pregnant I'm suing your ass!"

"America, please." said Russia calmly. "Calm down, look at the bright side. With your soft squishy body you'll be perfect for giving child birth."

The noise America made was inhuman as he tackled the Russian to the ground. Everybody stood in fear since America rarely, but also a new realization dawned on them. Nations can pregnant.

Even more chaos erupted in the room. Japan sat in his seat in sobbing. Poland was talking to Lithuania about what they should name their new born child. Switzerland pointed his gun at everyone demanding if they impregnated his little sister. Other nations began accusing others of being the parent of their child and demanding compensation.

"Enough!" demanded China quieting the whole room. "I have thousands of years and I can tell you that having casual sex will not make a nation pregnant."

Collective sighs filled the room as a heavy burden was lifted from many shoulders.

"But what if you don't have casual sex what if you partake in kinky sex can I still get pregnant?" asked one nation, which got the concerned nods of the other nations.

China slapped his forehead in frustration and said, "No you won't get pregnant from that either."

"Okay, but let's say I partake in a orgy can I st-"

"No!" exclaimed China, not believing what he was hearing. Geeze young people now of days. "You won't get pregnant if you do casual, kinky, orgy, or some other weird sexual activity! The only time a nation can get pregnant is when their civilization greatly changes and they give birth to an heir, like Greece or Egypt. Even then that's an extremely rare case."

A collective sighs and shouts of freedom filled the room. When everybody regained their composure everybody was now glaring at the two nations who started this whole fiasco.

"Now that everything is back to normal." said France. "I would like to by talking about a major ordeal that is taking place."

France motioned for step forward with the child who surprisingly fell asleep during the whole ordeal. Collective gasp came from those who instantly recognized the child

"No, it can't be." said Prussia astounded, red eyes going wide with shock.

"It can't be, it certainly can't be." said Austria refusing to believe what he was seeing.

"Is it really him?" questioned Portugal getting out of his seat and moving towards the sleeping child.

"Listen mates as much as I love a good mystery, but can someone tell me who the little ankle biter is?" asked Australia.

"It's Spain." said Portugal finally, as more gasp filled the room. "Spain is a child!"


	4. Chapter 4

More chaos erupted when they learned what happened to Spain. That took the combined efforts of China, Germany, and England to calm everyone down. When everyone settled down the three demanded to know what happened.

"How could you turn Spain into a child!" exclaimed China looking at the two nations in disbelief.

"I have nothing to do with this, Romano found him like this." huffed France, not appreciating being accused.

"Hey just wait a minute this isn't my fault!" said Romano not believing that France tried to push the blame on him. Now he doesn't feel bad for using all of the money on France's iTunes account.

"If it's not your fault then, who fault is it." demanded Germany glaring down at the Italian nation.

"It is either Prussia, America, or my own stupid fratello."

"What!?" exclaimed the three in unison.

"This has those bumbling idiots written all over it." said Romano pointing at the three accusers.

"Oh please." said England not buying a single word. "This obviously is dealing with some sort of magic and I doubt those three could even conjure up dust mite."

"Opium has a point." said China, now looking at the Brit more closely. "This does breathe of witchcraft, wouldn't you agree England?"

"Most certainly look like someone did a shoddy job with the spell too, well I for one would never do that."

"Is that so?"

"Most certainly."

"Not even a drunken mistake by any chance?" asked China. England somewhat blanched, but quickly gained composer.

"Of course not." chuckled England nervously. "I don't get drunk."

Immediate laughter filled the room and some nations even fell over with tears in their eyes from laughing to hard. It was clear to any nation the day England didn't get drunk was the day when Prussia stopped being a narcissi, and they all knew that wasn't going to happen.

"That was a good one!" laughed China patting a very upset England on the back. The Asian nation with his best abilities regained his composure. "Now England we all know this is your doing."

"How dare you!" exclaimed England looking insulted. "You have no proof I did this!"

"Oh really?" questioned China. "I was informed this morning by Japan that you was not only heavily intoxicated, but also was going off on how much you loathe Spain."

England turns to glare at Japan who looks away innocently and even had the gall to ask Turkey how's the weather. Traitor thought England bitterly.

"Okay so I was drunk big whoop, but that doesn't mean this is my fault!"

"You are delusional Opium, it's clear to all of us that this is your doing!"

"I did see green lighting from the direction of your house." said Canada thoughtfully.

England turned Canada and made the zip it sign across his lips. When he turned back around he was greeted with the China's smug expression.

"Well Opium you have caused an international disaster, and all this time I thought it would be that boy of yours." said China, ignoring the displeased noise coming from said boy. "This is like '92 all over again."

"You enjoy seeing in me pain, don't you?" asked England.

China leaned in close to England and whispered, "Yes."

Enjoying the shock expression from the Brit, China turned his attention back on the matter on hand. "Until Opium makes a antidote someone has to watch the child."

"Ooh China let me do it!" exclaimed Mexico, as she got up from her seat and ran to the front. "Please I always wanted my revenge- I mean _care_ for the nation who _cared_ for me."

"Nice try Mexico." said Romano backing away with still sleeping child.

"Oh come on Romano don't you want to get revenge on the rulacho too?"

"Not when he is small and defenseless!"

"I think I should take care of Spain." said Netherlands despite his neutral expression his eyes held the same vengeful gleam as Mexico's. "Since we are _neighbors_."

"No way it should be me!" proclaimed Hungary. "I got plenty of cute clothes back when Italy was little."

"Weren't those girl clothes?" questioned Prussia.

"Your point?"

"Okay I think we all know the hero should-"

"Shut the fuck up!" exclaimed Romano making sure to cover the kids ears. There was no way in hell he was giving Spain to that idiot. He would learn how to be obnoxious and have bad taste in food.

"Oh my gosh he should come with me, since he is my irmão!" exclaimed Portugal.

"I volunteer Japan as tribute!" said Italy, shocking the Japanese nation.

"This isn't the Hunger Games Italy!"

Soon nearly everyone in the room was proclaiming they were fit to take care of the child Spain. Nations who didn't even know the nation personally thought they were deemed fit to take care of the nation. It got to the point when people were even talking about declaring war on each other!

"That is enough!" yelled Germany silencing the room. "Since, we all can't come to a agreement who should take care of Spain I'm picking for us all!"

"You can't do that!" shouted one nation.

Germany looked at him coldly until sunk the other sunk into their seat. Germany carefully took the sleeping child from Romano and gave him to China. "I think we can all agree that China with his age and wisdom he's the best out of all of us to take care of a child."

Many nations nodded in agreement and some grumbled saying that they would have made a good choice as well.

"Thank you Germany." said China. "Since we have a new agenda to take care of and we still have to discuss some more points that weren't addressed today. We should all meet up in my home in a couple of weeks, agreed?"

Everyone agreed and the meeting was dismissed. China left with the sleeping child with Hong Kong and Taiwan close behind him. Romano couldn't help, but feel a little upset for the now gone child. Despite everything he grew to sort of kind of like the kid.

"Ugh I can't believe I wasn't given Spain!" complained Mexico, as she walked out with America and Canada.

"I can't believe Romano told me to shut the fuck up!" said America shocked. "I would have made a wonderful care taker."

"You would have made a mother fucking bigger mess than it already was you bumbling buffoon!" exclaimed Romano, causing America to seek comfort in Mexico's arms while his brother pat him on the back. Mexico gave the Italian nation a thumbs up, as she walked the upset super power out the room.

Romano sighed and left the meeting hall and already planning on how to get his new mini fridge in his suitcase.


End file.
